So my husbands daughter wont come home. she's throwing a fuckin fit because she cant do theater in our house since her grades are D's and F's. But of course her whore of a mother thinks its cute to let her NOT go to school and yet still go to theater. really? and her teachers allow that?

my husbands mother is throwing a fucking fit because she thinks that i said my family is more important. first off, no. that is NOT what i said. second, even if it was, is my family not supposed to be important to me? She said that she does all this shit for us and we dont do anything in return. really? is that why i worked my ass off as her secratery and her house "buddy" for free? i even got yelled at for asking for so much as soda for the week. well, then she fucking tricked me into an apology and i took it. i said sorry for hurting her feelings. but no....her telling me "fuck you. fuck marc, fuck your family. get the fuck out" is perfectly justified. she has been telling my family and her family all this shit about me. she is trying to turn everyone against me. she even talks shit to my husband. well guess what....FUCK YOU! you dont get the right to see my son.

my father is on the kidney transplant list now for his pkd. yeah, that makes me feel awesome! my aunt is giving my other aunt her kidney on my birthday. my gradfather just had knee surgery, and my other grandfather just went to the er for his heart. one of my grandmothers had back surgery not to long ago and has been in and out of the hospital ever since for infections and shit.

my son is due the first week of january so i cant go to texas to see that side of the family, which is mostly sick.

AND I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MAKING YOU MOTHER FUCKERS FUCKING HAPPY?!?!? REALLY? WELL GUESS WHAT?!? THATS RIGHT! FUCK OFF!

wow. i feel better.

i love feeling my baby move. its comforting knowing he is up and about. today i shall try to put my pictures of him on here. next week i get my last set before he is born. 3 more months! damn time flies. i doubt anyone will actually read this, but i dont care. im going to brag anyways. he is perfect. he is healthy. he is mine!!!! me! with a kid! imagine... my little super hero. i love him sooo much and havent even met him yet. its wierd. when he moves, i like to talk to him and play with him, which is hard to do while he is in my belly, but still fun. he responds well to his daddy, which makes me happy too. i cant wait to see his little feet, little hands, see those big eyes, find out what color they are, and just hold him for the first time. my little logan.

im so tired. tired of being too hot to sleep. tired of not knowing what to do for my job, tired of not having money to pay bills. tired of my parents acting like im a nobody...soooo tired. how can someone get past being tired? is it because im off my meds? is it because im pregnant? what? my eyes hurt. my head hurts. my stomach hurts. im tired of hurting too. im tired of baby mama drama. both my mother and my step daughters mother. im tired of not feeling good about anything. i want to sleep. cant i just sleep for one day? im tired of not having time.

i get married tomorrow. found out i am 7 weeks pregnant. we know its a boy, so dont even need a girls name. his name is going to be logan james. he is supposed to be due january 6, 2010. i get my first ultra sound soon. i have to make an appt, but i need to get married first. lol. lizzie is stressed, but she is a trooper considering. 15, only child, father just got divorced, now he is marrying me, having another kid all in less then a year. that is alot for the poor girl. i wish she would know how much i am greatful for her. that she can talk to me and not have to be shut down. oh well. she is 16 in two months, so she will be all grown up soon. i remember going from 15 to 16. that was the fastest i ever matured. it was like over night! i trust she will be pretty cool after she is 16. any who....i cant believe catherine isnt coming. fucked up. her "friend" is but her and her family are not. thats fucked. fyi...my mother. at least my friends will be there. right danny? amanda? you better be! whole pig roast. yay! bikers, beer, and pig. not like the beer matters. couldnt drink at my bachlorette, cant drink at my wedding. oh well. at least we get a hotel for a night. mmm hmmm. i can do my little suprise if logan doesnt have me tired. he better not or when he gets grown up and married, i will make sure its hard on him. lol. its not like my step mom and marcs mom arent doing that. well, have things to do before tomorrow. YAY!

im getting married in three weeks. im not nervous or anything. he is going out of town with my dad for his batchlor party and my mom is giving me a bachlorette party that same week. im sad cuz im going to miss him. but then we get MARRIED! thats, like, for life....omg. lol. i just cant wait. i cant wait to actually be amanda berk. not amanda david. YEAH!

BABY, I LOVE YOU!